Writer’s can have a writer’s block but is there something like a runner’s block or workout block?
Today I went for a run. Plan in my schedule was 7K but when I went outside I decided to do 5K and ended up doing 3.9K. It seems like I’ve lost my mojo for running or working out. Nothing goes well, everything is a struggle, it isn’t fun.
I even had to walk 5 times during my run today. I was surprised afterwards that my average time/speed wasn’t slower than this. I’m losing my confidence that I can do this, it seems like I’m back where I started. Sunday I have a 5K run and on April 18th a 10K run but right now I don’t know if I can do this. I’m afraid of ending last again or that I have to walk during the run. Sunday the time limit for finishing is 45 minutes. What if I don’t make it and they take me off the course.
I know that I’m not my usual self. I miss my dog so much. Life isn’t that fun right now, I smile on the outside, pretend I’m okay. But she’s the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. I know it takes time and it will come back but it sure affects my running. I have no idea how long this will take, guess I’ll have to take it day by day.
I will try to run a 5K on Friday, if that goes terrible too I might decide not to run this race on Sunday.
The show yesterday was okay. We’ve seen this group before and it wasn’t surprising or new. We decided we won’t go seeing them again.
Weather: 19 ˚C/66 degrees, cloudy, nice weather.
Distance: 3.9K / 2.4 miles
Average time: 7:11 /km
Average speed: 8.3 km/hour
What’s for dinner:
Today some beef meat, baked potatoes and carrots with green peas.
It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses.